It’s remuneration, not ‘renumeration’

I love the recent presidential directive that at his functions, dignitaries from government ministries whose normal work is not directly related to the (presidential) events must not show up. Why would I like this? I don’t like it. I love it!

Gone are the days when big people in government would crowd meetings such that when the directors of ceremonies start speaking, they spend over five minutes just to salute this officer or that official.

Your Excellency the President professor so and so, the first lady madam so and so, the vice president the right honourable so and so, the former president so and so, the three former vice presidents so and so and so, the secretary of ministry A, the Chief Justice so and so, the Army commander, the Inspector General, the paramount chief this and that, the senior chief this and that….no wonder we have created the term “all protocols observed…”

It was just too much of a burden. A proper meeting has the relevant people attending and not people who have nothing to do.

Once in a while, I get to these meetings where people speak trying to share information. When the people on the podium have spoken, there may be a (time) space for the rest of us to ask questions, comment or disagree with the speaker.

And then the speaker or the director of ceremonies or the chair of the session instead of just plainly asking whether there is any question or not, she says: “Now is the time for interventions.”

Or someone having raised their hands to speak, they say: “I have an intervention to make.” To say that such language irritates me is an understatement. I find such language plainly silly. How can adults wish to degrade themselves so low as to be incomprehensible?

I have heard a dozen or so times when people say things like: “The problem in the public service is ‘renumeration’.” Look at where the “n” is. Bad pronunciation, of course. It is remuneration. Again look at where the “n” and “m” are.

And then the worst irritation I find is when someone says something like: “The box comprised of mangoes, bananas and avocado!” Comprise should never be followed immediately by “of”. Of course, you can say “consist of”, “composed of”, but never and never “comprised of”.

Let me finish writing about these annoying tendencies by bringing to you another practice I despise. You hear people talking, even writing something like: “When I went to the hospital, I saw nurses, doctors and clinicians.” To these people, a clinician is something like a clinical officer or a medical assistant. A doctor to such people is not a clinician. And yet a clinician is just “a person [such as a doctor or nurse] who works directly with patients rather than in a laboratory or as a researcher”.

There are two extremes in life: President Peter Mutharika and my son Sinjani. While Mutharika takes three weeks to appoint a 20 member Cabinet, Sinjani is always in a hurry. He eats in three seconds, baths in one.